Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs (Backlist eBook Program) Read online

  Excerpts from “Johnny Get Angry” first appearing at page 65, written by Sherman Edwards and Hal David, Copyright 1962 (Renewed) by Keith Valerie Music Corp, a division of Music Sales Corporation and Casa David, International Copyright Secured. All Rights Reserved. Music Sales Corporation granted permission and requested that the foregoing information be set forth as shown.

  Excerpts from “Playground in My Mind” first appearing at page 40, written by Paul Vance and Lee Pockriss, Copyright 1971, 1973 by and Emily Music Corp. International Copyright Secured. All Rights Reserved. Music Sales Corporation granted permission and requested that the foregoing information be set forth as shown.

  Excerpts from “Backfield In Motion” first appearing at page 60, written by Herbert McPherson and Melvin Harden, believed to be owned by Cachand Music Inc. and Patcheal Music. Patcheal Music granted permission and requested that the foregoing information be set forth as shown.

  E. No response was received to requests for permission with respect to excerpts from the following songs.

  Excerpts from “Tell Laura I Love Her” first appearing at page 73, written by Jeff Barry and Ben Raleigh, believed to be owned by Ben Raleigh Music Co.

  Excerpts from “Ball of Confusion” first appearing at page 86, written by Norman Whitefield, believed to be owned by Jobete Music.

  Excerpts from “I’ve Never Been To Me” first appearing at page 35, written by Ron Miller and Ken Hirsch, believed to be owned by Jobete Music.

  Excerpts from “My Eyes Adored You” first appearing at page 55, written by Bob Crewer and Kenny Nolan Helfman, believed to be owned by Jobete Music and Kenny Nolan Publishing.

  Excerpts from “Girl Watcher” first appearing at page 56, written by Buck Trail (Ronald B. Killette), believed to be owned by Drive-In Music Co., Inc.

  Excerpts from “Lollipop” first appearing at page 16, written by Beverly Ross and Julius Dixon, believed to be owned by Edward B. Marks Music Co.

  Excerpts from “Seasons In The Sun” first appearing at page 36, written by Rod McKuen, believed to be owned by Edward B. Marks Music Co.

  Excerpts from “She’s Always A Woman” first appearing at page 67, written by Billy Joel, believed to be owned by Impulsive Music.

  Excerpts from “Land of 1000 Dances” first appearing at page ix, written by Chris Kenner, believed to be owned by Longitude Music Co.

  Excerpts from “Feelings” first appearing at page vii, written by Morris Albert, believed to be owned by Loving Guitar Music Inc.

  Excerpts from “Girl is Mine” first appearing at page 59, written by Michael Jackson, believed to be owned by Mijac Music.

  Excerpts from “Do That To Me One More Time” first appearing at page 29, written by Toni Tennille, believed to be owned by Moonlight and Magnolias, Inc.

  Excerpts from “Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” first appearing at page 42, written by Gordon Lightfoot.

  Excerpts from “I Am, I Said” first appearing at page 3, written by Neil Diamond.

  Excerpts from “Play Me” first appearing at page 3, written by Neil Diamond.

  Excerpts from “Love To Love You Baby” first appearing at page 20, written by Peter Bellotte, Giorgio Moroder and Donna Summer, believed to be owned by Ricks Music Inc.

  Excerpts from “Alone Again (Naturally)” first appearing at page 51, written by Raymond O’Sullivan.

  Excerpts from “It Must Be Him” first appearing at page 64, written by David Mack, Maurice M. Vidalin, and Gilbert Francois L. Silly, believed to be owned by BMG Music Publishers, Cedex, France.

  F. Permission to use the excerpts from the following songs was denied.

  Excerpts from “Abracadabra” first appearing at page 55, written by Steve Miller, believed to be owned by BMG Songs, inc. and/or Sailor Music.

  Excerpts from “Johnny Get Angry” first appearing at page 65, lyrics written by Hal David, print publisher Hal Leonard Corporation, believed to be owned by Casa David.

  Excerpts from “Magic Moments” first appearing at page 54, lyrics written by Hal David, print publisher Hal Leonard Corporation, believed to be owned by Casa David and Famous Music Corp.

  Excerpts from “(They Long To Be) Close To You” first appearing at page 54, written by Hall David and Burt Bacharach, print publisher Hal Leonard Corporation, believed to be owned by Casa David and New Hidden Valley Music.

  Excerpts from “I am Woman” first appearing at page 39, written by Helen Reddy and Ray Burton, believed to be owned by Irving Music.

  Excerpts from “Shut Down” first appearing at page 10, written by Roger Christian and Brian Wilson, believed to be owned by Irving Music.

  Excerpts from “Diana” first appearing at page 23, written by Paul Anka, believed to be owned by Chrysalis Music.

  Excerpts from “My Way” first appearing at page 23, written by Paul Anka, believed to be owned by Chrysalis Music.

  Excerpts from “You Are My Destiny” first appearing at page 23, written by Paul Anka, believed to be owned by Chrysalis Music.

  Excerpts from “(You’re) Having My Baby” first appearing at page 22, written by Paul Anka, believed to be owned by Chrysalis Music.

  Excerpts from “Playground In My Mind” first appearing at page 40, written by Paul Vance and Lee Pockriss, believed to be owned by Emily Music Corporation.

  Excerpts from “Signs” first appearing at page 41, written by Arthur Thomas, believed to be owned by Ensign Music Corp.

  Excerpts from “Knock Three Times” first appearing at page 57, written by Irwin Levine and Russell Brown, believed to be owned by Forty West Music Corp. and Two One Two Music Co.

  Excerpts from “Islands in the Stream” first appearing at page 66, written by Barry, Robin and Maurice Gibb, believed to be owned by Gibb Brothers Music.

  Excerpts from “Him” first appearing at page 26, written by Rupert Holmes, believed to be owned by The Holmes Line of Records, Inc. and/or WB Music Corp and Warner-Tammerlane Publishing.

  Excerpts from “Timothy” first appearing at page 24, written by Rupert Holmes, publication rights believed to be owned by Stanley Herman.

  Excerpts from “Bobby Sox to Stockings” first appearing at page 32, written by Russell Faith and Clarence Wey Kehner, believed to be owned by MCA Music Publishing.

  Excerpts from “Let ’Em In” first appearing at page 58, written by Paul and Linda McCartney, believed to be owned by MPL Communications, Inc.

  Excerpts from “Live and Let Die” first appearing at page 58, written by Paul and Linda McCartney, believed to be owned by MPL Communications, Inc.

  Excerpts from “My Love” first appearing at page 57, written by Paul and Linda McCartney, believed to be owned by MPL Communications.

  Excerpts from “I Will Follow Him” first appearing at page 64, written by Norman Gimbel and Arthur Altman, believed to be owned by New Thunder Music Co.

  Excerpts from “Honey” first appearing at page 30, written by Bobby Russel, believed to be owned by Polygram International Publishing, Inc.

  Excerpts from “Laurie (Strange Things Happen)” first appearing at page 75, written by Milton C. Addington, believed to be owned by Polygram International Publishing, Inc.

  Excerpts from “MacArthur Park” first appearing at page 27, written by Jimmy Webb, believed to be owned by Polygram International Publishing, Inc.

  Excerpts from “Night Chicago Died” first appearing at page 40, written by Peter Callendar and Lionel Stitcher, believed to be owned by Polygram International Publishing, Inc.

  Excerpts from “Running Bear” first appearing at page 74, written by J.P. Richardson, believed to be owned by Polygram International Publishing.

  Excerpts from “All Shook Up” first appearing at page 59, written by Otis Blackwell and Elvis Presley, believed to be owned by Screen Gems/EMI Music Publishing.

  Excerpts from “Baby Don’t Get Hooked on Me” first appearing at page 33, written by Mac Davis, believed to be owned by Screen Gems/EMI Music Publishing.

  Excerpts from “Bi
rd’s The Word” first appearing at page 14, written by Al Frazier, Carl White, Turner Wilson, Jr. and John Harris, believed to be owned by Screen Gems/EMI Music Publishing.

  Excerpts from “Bobby’s Girl” first appearing at page 32, written by Henry Joffman and Gary Klein, believed to be owned by Screen Gems/EMI Music Publishing.

  Excerpts from “Diary” first appearing at page 52, written by David Gates, believed to be owned by Screen Gems/EMI Music Publishing.

  Excerpts from “Don’t Say Nothin’ Bad” first appearing at page 68, written by Gerry Goffin and Carole King, believed to be owned by Screen Gems/EMI Music Publishing.

  Excerpts from “Dreams of the Everyday Housewife” first appearing at page 6, written by Chris Gantry, believed to be owned by Screen Gems/EMI Music Publishing.

  Excerpts from “Girls Grow Up Faster Than Boys” first appearing at page 67, written by Gerry Goffin and Jack Keller, believed to be owned by Screen Gems/EMI Music Publishing.

  Excerpts from “He Hit Me (And It Felt Like a Kiss)” first appearing at page 65, written by Gerry Goffin and Carol King, believed to be owned by Screen Gems/EMI Music Publishing.

  Excerpts from “If” first appearing at page 52, written by David Gates, believed to be owned by Screen Gems/EMI Music Publishing.

  Excerpts from “Leader of the Pack” first appearing at page 73, written by George Morton, Jeff Barry and Ellie Grenwich, believed to be owned by Screen Gems/EMI Music Publishing.

  Excerpts from “My Way” first appearing at page 23, written by Paul Anka, believed to be owned by Screen Gems/EMI Music Publishing.

  Excerpts from “The Name Game” first appearing at page 12, written by Shirley Elliston and Lincoln Chase, believed to be owned by Screen Gems/EMI Music Publishing.

  Excerpts from “Papa Oom Mow Mow” first appearing at page 14, written by Al Frazier, Carl White, Turner Wilson and John Harris, believed to be owned by Screen Gems/EMI Music Publishing.

  Excerpts from “Patches” first appearing at page 73, written by Barry Mann and Larry Kolber, believed to be owned by Screen Gems/EMI Music Publishing.

  Excerpts from “Physical” first appearing at page 33, written by Stephen Kipner and Terry Shaddick, believed to be owned by Screen Gems/EMI Music Publishing.

  Excerpts from “Tonight’s the Night” first appearing at page 56, written by Rod Stewart, believed to be owned by Screen Gems/EMI Music Publishing.

  Excerpts from “Treat Her Like A Lady” first appearing at page 67, written by Eddie Cornelius, believed to be owned by Screen Gems/EMI Music Publishing.

  Excerpts from “We Gotta Get You A Woman” first appearing at page 66, written by Todd Rundgren, believed to be owned by Screen Gems/EMI Music Publishing.

  Excerpts from “Sometimes When We Touch” first appearing at page 48, written by Dan Hill, believed to be owned by Sony ATV Songs LLC.

  Excerpts from “Judy’s Turn To Cry” first appearing at page 65, written by Edna Lewis and Beverly Ross, believed to be owned by Sony ATV Songs LLC.

  Excerpts from “Muskrat Love” first appearing at page xviii, written by Willis Alan Ramsey, believed to be owned by Wishbone Music.

  Excerpts from “Elusive Butterfly” first appearing at page 49, written by Bob Lind, believed to be owned by EMI Music Publishing.

  Excerpts from “When the Red Red Robin Comes...” first apperaing at page 33, written by Harry M. Woods, believed to be owned by Bourne Company and The Songwriters Guild.

  Dave Barry’s Book of Bad Songs copyright © 2000 by Dave Barry. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews.

  Andrews McMeel Publishing, LLC

  an Andrews McMeel Universal company

  1130 Walnut Street, Kansas City, Missouri 64106

  www.andrewsmcmeel.com

  A hardcover edition of this book was published in 1997 by Andrews McMeel Publishing

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  as Cataloged for the Hardcover Edition

  Barry, Dave.

  Dave Barry’s book of bad songs / by Dave Barry.

  p. cm.

  1. Popular music—Humor. I. Title.

  ML65.B3 1997

  782.42164—dc20

  96-36790

  CIP

  MN

  Design by Mauna Eichner

  Information regarding excerpted lyrics can be found in Credits on page 89.

  ATTENTION: SCHOOLS AND BUSINESSES

  Andrews McMeel books are available at quantity discounts with bulk purchase for educational, business, or sales promotional use. For information, please e-mail the Andrews McMeel Publishing Special Sales Department: [email protected]

  Table of Contents

  Half Title page

  Title page

  Dedication

  WoWoWo

  I Said Na

  Content

  Warning

  Introduction

  Bad Song Survey Results

  Weenie Music

  Love Songs

  Songs Women Really Hate

  Teen Death Songs

  Songs People Get Wrong

  Conclusion

  Credits

  Copyright